I know it’s late in the day, but I want to say happy Wednesday everyone!!! ☺️
I hope everyone has been having a good week! Oh how was mine you ask? Eh. Could be a bit better. I do have something to rant about. So, I bought this pair of really cute pants a year ago, and I have been trying to fit into them ever since, well...I went to put them on this morning to wear to school and guess what?! They’re too big! OMG. Although this is great news, I really wanted to wear those pants. They would’ve looked so good on me too! I guess I’ve been that dedicated to the fitness life these last couple months. It’s not just those pants either, it’s almost all of my clothes, and the two dresses I bought a month ago. I’ll keep them, but have them altered so I can wear them again. They are way too cute to get rid of. I’m really proud of myself for being this enthusiastic about working out. Besides my news of my body progress I must say that school is going better. It figures this would happen close to the end. Ha. Even with all of my outside things I have to deal with, (i.e little brothers, work, and my love quest) I have managed to keep myself on the right track. I’d say I’m finally growing up! That’s all I have for tonight due to the fact that I have been up since 5:30 am, and haven’t taken a nap. So I’ll leave you with a thought for the night... Life is too short to worry about little things. Enjoy everything you have and be grateful for each day you get to make a difference. ❤️ Make sure you spread kindness, positivity, and smiles to the world! Someone will definitely appreciate it. You could even save a life....you never know. Have be a great day/night wherever you are and we will talk soon!
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I think today started a new view on things.... Last night I started a new devotional plan all about true love. I know, I know...love....again? For the third time in a row?! Yes. This time is different. My devotional talked about Christ and his love for us and how it’s the unconditional kind. No matter what we do we are always loved. It also mentions that true love goes beyond a feeling, it’s so much more than that. I refuse to settle until I find the person that will work through things with me no matter what. As the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:13 “Three things will last forever- Faith, Hope and Love-and the greatest of these is love.” Love is the greatest thing in the world! That’s why I talk about it so much. That word in itself is not something to throw around if you don’t truly mean it, because it means everything. I know I am loved always by one man God. ❤️ That relationship is the most important relationship in my life I need to maintain. Everything else comes second, so I will no longer linger on the thought of the guy I still care about. If the Lord intends him to be here, he will. As always guys! You are amazing and wonderful. You deserve love, true love. Always try to spread positivity, love, and happiness wherever you go! Someone will appreciate it...I promise. Hello everyone! Happy Monday!
It’s been a couple days since my last post, and I can say that I am feeling a bit better. Mind you I have thought of him a few times, but it’s only been a couple days so I guess that’s normal. I won’t lie to you all and say that I didn’t think about texting him today. It took everything in me to skip it, I mean that and my friend telling me to move on. It just sucks you know? I’ll stop talking about it now. I’m sure it’s annoying. Once again, I am not mad at him, I’m just upset that the situation wasn’t ideal. Ugh. Maybe one day we can talk it out and try again. For now I continue to focus on my faith and my career path. Dr. Will be a title before my name one day I can promise you that. Sorry this is such a short post, but without any drama to stir things up I’m quite a boring person. Ha Have an awesome day or night everyone! You are amazing and wonderful, remember to spread love, kindness, and positivity wherever you go! ❤️ Be on the lookout for another post later this week! I think I’m going to end my online dating experiment....
In the beginning I was very interested in how this whole world of online dating began. With all the funny stories I’ve heard and corky tumblr posts I’ve seen about it I though it would be the greatest thing ever. Boy was I wrong. I tried out 4 different apps, but ended up with similar outcomes. The four apps I tried were (coffee meets bagel ...hilarious, bumble, something called hinge I think, and this Christian dating app.) Mind you I went into these without serious intentions. I was open minded, interested, and excited. So let’s discuss my results. Before I discuss these I need to mention that I didn’t know anything about them, and I just picked ones from the App Store. Ok let’s do this! App #1: Hinge So I signed up via Facebook because I just felt that it was easier, and I made my profile look approachable. Next of course was judging the guys and waiting to see who would talk to me based off of appearance and my ever so basic profile description. This one gave me the lowest amount of results. Usually just a bunch of busy doctors or creeps who lead a conversation with “you’re sexy” ugh....gross. So I deleted that one and moved on! App #2: Cross paths (the Christian dating app) Man oh man! I have one thing to say about this one....If you’re looking to meet some really cute Canadian guys this is the app for you! There are absolutely no guys in my area that are on here. I matched with so many Canadian guys it wasn’t even funny. I have no issue with this, but they’re too far away to make conversation or anything. This app was a bust so I deleted my profile and moved on. App #3: Coffee meets Bagel This app gave me so actual conversations and a fair amount of guys to choose from. I still think that sounds weird because it’s not like they are so form of produce you check for bruises before you buy to make sure it’s ok. Any who, this app kind of lets the ladies decide. They send you 5 guys who have “liked” you and you can decide to “pass” or “like” them back. Due to the fact that I was open minded and not taking this seriously at first I would usually say “hm why not?!” To guys I wouldn’t have given a chance in real life. So either they would message me or I would message them. Out of the large amount of guys I talked to 3 of them. One would write me everyday with a new joke (it for old after a while, but he was a nice guy), the other was kind of creepy, he started off nice but ended up calling me sexy and not asking me anything about myself...weirdo! Lastly, I spoke with one guy for about a week, then we exchanged numbers and went on an actual real life date! What?! I have never been on one so the whole situation was weird. He too was a nice guy, but there was no spark. Mind you going on a real date wasn’t my original intention, but hey it happened! Lastly..... App #4: Bumble I have never used tinder before, but I feel like this is what it is. Literally you swipe left or right, or you can pay to see who has liked you and skip the guessing game. What did I do? Ha! I paid. Lol I may have wasted money, but I don’t like uncertainty. Anywho, this app gives the ladies full control. You choose who you message and they can respond or not. Out of the four apps this one became really addicting because of the swiping thing and the moments of wondering who would respond to a message. I messaged tons of them a simple “Hi”. Short and sweet, take it or leave it. I don’t care. On here I had actual conversations with two guys out of 150+ (that’s over the course of 4 days). On here I did this thing where I would change my bio to make it look different to see what kinds of guys I would attract. The turnout was quite interesting, but ultimately all the guys looked the same at the end. In the end I met a guy who told me to come f*** him (I kindly blocked him. I don’t do that kind of stuff), a Canadian guy who is a really cool nerd, and a super sweet guy who I think could have an actual chance with me! I’ll keep you posted. To summarize this this post I just want to say that my dream was to meet a guy in the grocery store, but the way the world is everyone is on their phones, so online dating is the way to go! It might take a while but you could find a potential partner on there. My original intentions were just to see who I attracted, and be kind to all of them. By the end I was hoping to meet a guy with serious intentions who was looking for a real relationship. It’s weird how my views shifted. Now I wonder how many of these people do it for fun, random hookups, or to really find the potential love of their life. Either way, if you are comfortable with talking to strangers and dealing with weirdos go for it! Try out one of these apps! If not, keep hope alive for that cute rom com moment where you both reach for the same piece of fruit in the grocery store. Love is everywhere people! As as always thank you for reading! If you made it to the end of this one I’d love to hear your online dating stories! I’m sure they’re interesting. Lol Have an awesome day/night wherever you are. Remember you are amazing and someone loves you. ❤️ WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON YOU GUYS?! HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING? NO ONE EVER COMMENTED ON THESE BUT STILL HAHA.
I HAVE SOOOO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT AND SO MUCH TO SAY! WHERE DO I START? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW? OK I’LL START WITH LAST YEAR: IT WASN’T THE BEST YEAR IF WE’RE BEING HONEST. I MEAN I BOUGHT MY FIRST CAR LAST YEAR, BUT OTHER THAN THAT MY ANXIETY CONTROLLED ME LIKE A PUPPETEER. I SWEAR I WAS A MESS. WAY TOO AFRAID TO TALK TO PEOPLE. IT WAS BAD. I STARTED A WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY (NOT LIKE A COUPLE YEARS AGO). SO FAR I’M 63 POUNDS DOWN, MY WAIST WENT FROM 47 TO 32, AND MY HIPS ARE DOWN A BIT, BUT STILL AS WIDE AS ALWAYS. (I DON’T THINK THEY’RE EVER GONNA GO DOWN LOL). REMEMBER ALL THOSE POSTS I USED TO WRITE ABOUT FINDING LOVE AND PRAYING FOR A GOOD MAN WHO HAD A WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF, WELL.....I’M STILL SINGLE. LMAO. HOWEVER, I DID GO ON MY VERY FIRST DATE THIS YEAR. I WILL MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THE WAY THIS ALL CAME ABOUT. THE ONLY THING I WILL SAY IS THAT HE IS A REALLY NICE GUY. (THAT’S A GREAT SIGN).... HMMMM....ANYTHING ELSE? OH! I HAVE BEEN VEGAN FOR 2 YEARS. IT’S STILL THE BEST DECISION I HAVE EVER MADE IN MY LIFE. NO JOKE. I FOUND OUT I HAVE A GLUTEN ALLERGY, IT’S A PRETTY DOPE THING TO EXPERIENCE...NOT. I HOPE YOU YOU ALL ARE PREPARED FOR RANTS, POSITIVE POSTS, AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT COMES TO MIND. IM SO EXCITED TO BE BACK!! ❤️ INSTEAD OF SAYING “PEACE AND LOVE” THE NEW THING I’M GOING TO END WITH IS “SPREAD LOVE AND GRACE”. ❤️ KINDNESS, LOVE AND POSITIVITY GO A LONG WAY. TRY TO SMILE AT LEAST ONCE A DAY, AND REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE THINKS! 😌 Hello everyone!
Welcome back to another post from yours truly. I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving and Black Friday (if you went out). Soooo it's currently 2:38 am and as usual my mind is a whirlwind of randomness and things. So I'm just going to go through all my thoughts now. Oh and by the way there's only 23 days until Christmas!!! Omg. Ok ok so here goes... 1. I freaking miss having a boyfriend. Well...not really....but maybe a little...or actually just someone to get to know on a possible more than friends level. It will be 4 years I've been single in February...wow. 2. I have so many things I feel I should be doing with my life and I'm not because I'm scared. 3. I have this desire to go to the gym so badly! Losing weight is fun, but I need to tone up. 4. I have NOT heard from that guy and I unfollowed him on everything and deleted his number. I refuse to waste my time. 5. I wish I had one person to vent to about my life because I feel like I'm stuck which will lead to me falling back into my depression and I do not want to be in that state of mind again. 6. Anxiety is kicking in because of my new job I start Friday. 7. I wish I had more time to help the homeless and the animals. 8. Why can't other human beings be supportive of each other? I will forever wish for peace in this world. 9. Can someone please be my friend? I'm lonely. and last but not least 10......Why hasn't anyone asked me on a date in almost 4 years? I must be ugly. This is list of thoughts just helped me. My mind feels so much better now, and I must say that I can say my prayers and pass out with no worries now. I have to remember that I have God to talk to and vent my life issues to. Sometimes a human being would be nice though. Good night everyone! You are all amazing, and I hope you have a great week and you wil hear from me soon. Peace ✌🏼️ And Love ❤️ Remember that someone Loves you and that you are special. What's up people?!
Well....certainly not me...haha (that was not funny at all). Anywho, I guess this will be another random post where I vent about my thoughts. So as usual I'm thinking about my life and the direction it's going....and well..I am becoming happier with it. I am finally going to have a job I can see myself staying with during school, and I'm continually losing weight which is AMAZING. Also, I am getting my gym membership back and I couldn't be more excited. I even have a workout buddy this time!! I'm so excited for that. However that's not what I've had on my mind all day...there seems to be this annoying thought that I always go back to...oh you want to know what it is? Great question. I keep going back to this thought of getting back into a relationship. Stupid right? Uh...yeah. As much as I would enjoy a guy to enjoy life with, I can't seem to find someone who actually wants to talk to me and keep up with me. I have absolutely no freaking clue why either. I don't usually promote myself BUT this time I have to say that I am a positive, kind, loving, genuine, goal oriented, intelligent young woman. I have so much to offer and no one appreciates that. If they do they sure haven't told me. But you know what? I will continue to progress in life until someone finally appreciates how far I've come and how far I want to go. Oh amd OMG guys!!! You know how in my last post I said that the guy my dad liked wasn't right for me? Well I mean I feel like I'm right, but I still think about him a lot! It's been practically 3 weeks and I seem to think of him quite often. I don't know what it means or what I should do but it's driving me insane. I feel like I should tell him, but that could be a horrible idea. Maybe I'm just overthinking...either way it goes I need a solution for this problem. HELP! Oh oh and a little update on the YouTube thing...I deleted the two videos I made because they weren't the quality I want. Don't worry though I'm getting a good camera soon and videos will be in full swing. For now I'm going to do videos on Vimeo where I just vent my thoughts and post them on here. Think of it as a vlog in a blog <----cheesy. Alright guys I guess that's all I have for tonight. You're all amazing, keep shining, and remember that someone loves you. Peace and love ❤️ Ok guys...so here's the sitch (KP reference)..haha
Anyway, about two weeks ago I made a video of myself venting about a guy that I liked, and how I thought he was so great and blah blah blah. Well, I also said in this video that I was NOT going to text him because I didn't want to develop feelings for someone who doesn't want a relationship, and who also is horrible at texting back or even saying hello. Now don't get me wrong he's a nice guy, very funny, and seems like he could be a gentleman, but for me after hanging out and having plenty of time to think about the day I realized that he is not right for me, Now I know some people would say "oh but you only hung out one time" although that is true I honestly believe that all the months of texting and FaceTime and every now and then snapchat gave me a good idea. Not to mention I haven't heard from him since...but that's ok. Getting to know someone can be fun and exciting no matter the outcome. When I was younger I always thought relationships were based on physical appearance and nothing else. Just recently I realized that I have only experienced real love one time in my life, and it took him passing away for me to realize that. I'll never forget the last words I said to him....no they were not in anyway positive, and I still regret that to this day. His birthday is next month and just like every other year I will say happy birthday to him out loud. I still have the very first photo I took with him when we finally met in person. Maybe on his birthday I'll write the story about how he and I met because it's a positive memory and a funny one. He has videos on YouTube that I've gone and watched when I miss him, and I still talk about him quite often. Moving on....I have lost a couple more inches off my waist and finally my hips. It took so long for the hips to get with the program so now I want to kick this into high gear. I refuse to let my body go back to the depression body. (That's what I call it.) I beat myself up still about how I look. Lately I have had a few days where I look in the mirror and think "you are ugly, and disgusting...I know I shouldn't but for a majority of my life people have told me that I am not pretty and that I am fat. I mean everyone has an opinion, but that one has stuck with me since I was in middle school. In the back of my yearbook from 8th grade people wrote some things that I thought were funny at the time, but now I realize they were hurtful. I've listened to others for too long, and now that I listen to myself things go so much better. I may not love what I see everyday, but I love myself because I know I'm working on it, and I may not feel pretty that often, but I know that there's some beauty there, I guess you can say that inside this head of mine it's been a horrible mess of thoughts I've needed to get out. Whoever reads this all the way through is awesome! Thank you for reading a horribly written post about my thoughts this past week. I just wish I had people who would actually listen and give feedback to my life sometimes. It would be nice to have one friend. Ok that's it's for today...bye guys!! Remeber to to always stay positive, and remember you are worth something. ❤️ Hey Guys!!
What's been up? How is life going for you? Well I can say that life is going quite well for me. I'm so excited to be writing on here again. I always disappear and come back at random times, but I am so excited because I am going to be doing more with my blog. I want to talk about a certain guy I am friends with, he's so awesome and I love chatting with him, but He has no idea I have had a crush on him since I met him. Is that a little immature to keep from him? Maybe. In all honesty I don't think it is because he doesn't want a relationship, so what is the point of letting him know how I've felt this whole time. Instead of telling him I'll just write about it. That'll get it out of my head. Woohoo! Problem solved. (For now) He's just a great guy, he's funny, kind, honest, and I appreciate all those things about a guy. By the way guys...MY DAD SAID HE WAS A NICE YOUNG MAN. WHAT?! I probably had a mini breakdown when he said that because he's never said that before. I'm not sure what's going on but uh...I am not complaining. I think that's enough about that issue for tonight. I'm sure I'll ramble on about it again soon. I have so much I want to talk about so expect another post tomorrow. I also have an idea for either a blog series or a series on my channel called "late night thoughts" nothing inappropriate at all. It would just be things I can't ever seem to get out of my head when I am trying to wind down for the night, Other than that I'll talk to you all tomorrow!! I hope you have a great day (whatever time it is where you are) and umm...stay positive because someone loves you! Peace and love! ✌🏼&❤️ OMG you guys! I am back and it feels so great. As you can tell I haven't put up a post since December of 2014, and that is so crazy to think about. I took some time off to develop an even deeper relationship with The Lord, and to figure out what exactly I want out of this gift called life...I have figured so much out in these seven months. I feel so proud and so happy to say that I know what I want to be, what I want as far as a relationship goes, and the kind of person I want to show the world. Do you want to know? Is that even a question? You do?! Yay!!!
I guess I will start with what I want to be. Okay here goes... You could say that I have always had this fascination with people's teeth. When I was younger I said I wanted to be a dentist, and while I stuck to that idea for a long time the awful third course of my schooling career had arrived..that's right...HIGH SCHOOL. When I started high school I thought I had it all figured out as most fourteen year olds do, and well...I did not. I lacked confidence, determination, and the ability to block out the rude and hurtful words of certain classmates. I heard "you can't be a dentist", and "that's stupid". Among other things relating to my appearance (to be specific my clothes, shoes, hair, etc.) Now I was made fun of for all these things in middle school, but I felt as though it wouldn't be bad because I was at a school that was just for smart kids (at least that's how they made it seem) anyway back to my career goals...So I decided that because a few people discouraged me and made me feel like an idiot that I would go for something that was easier like a two year business degree, or a wedding planner, or even a chef. All of these things would have been fun, BUT none of them kept my interest, and it wasn't until last year that I figured this out. I was not put on this earth to be someone's planner, or a chef, or a business woman (even though I'd rock at it) I was put on this earth to help people smile with confidence and feel happy. With that being said I went back to my first decision and I will be going back to school to become an orthodontist. I know the journey won't be easy, and I know I will have to work super hard, but I am completely ready to do what I feel God put me here to do, and NO I do not care if you think of my decision. It's my life and I was not put here to please anyone on this planet. So let's talk relationships.... For years I thought that I wanted the tall, light skinned, gorgeous eyes, and beautiful teeth kind of man. haha NO!! I learned the hard way that the appearance of someone has nothing to do with the type of human being they are. I am so appreciative for the lesson, and I now know that that is not what I want. The type of relationship I am looking for goes beyond the outer shell. I want someone who is in love with Jesus and God, and wants to pray together before bed, and in the morning. Someone who looks at me the way you look at a waiter when they bring you your meal, someone who can appreciate the gaming life ha, but in all seriousness a person who is all around selfless, honest, caring, and is respectful of my standards and the things I want just as much as I would respect him for the things he would like. I know that I have to be patient because good men like that don't just fall from the sky. Who am I now? Well, let me tell you. I try to be the most optimistic, kind hearted, and loving person I can be. I no longer judge someone because of the way they look, but instead I talk with them and get to know them. It is not my place to judge anyone because I am in no way perfect myself. I have always loved the animals and the planet, but now I show it way more. I have transitioned from vegetarian to vegan (I started a new blog for it), and I try to speak out and sign every petition that I can. The next step is to find some ways to volunteer my time to the cause. I am not saying that any of this makes me a better person, but I feel like a better person because of these changes. I have so much love in my heart, and people are seeing that. Before I was such a lost human being with no direction and I felt like I had nothing left to live for, and now I feel like I have so much to look forward to that I wake up with a smile on my face regardless of the little things that try to knock me down. I think that I just want the world to see that being kind, positive, and loving can still get you somewhere in life (even though I have been told that is doesn't). That's what I want every person that I cross paths with to see...like I always say "If I can make an impact on at least one person, then I have done my job." I hope each and every one of you reading this is thankful for the life you have regardless of anything bad going on. You are still here for a reason and once you figure out that reason everything that tries to get in your way won't matter. |
Quote Of the Week"Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's a such thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown." |